Is there more to this life? In this now, on this planet?
And is there more to the God who put us here?
Or is the whole point to just stay between those lines?
Striving with all of our might to make it through and keep it together as best as we can?
Is there more to salvation and to the gospel of Jesus Christ than just staying on some line and trying to live up to some notion of “good enough?” Struggling to maintain our position on a road that, when you stand up and see it from a distance - really looks like more of a loop?
Resembling a cycle that just keeps repeating itself? Sin and be forgiven. Sin and be forgiven.
Is this the freedom Jesus came to proclaim?
Is the entire reason behind Jesus’ coming here and taking up flesh and dying and rising again just so that we can spend our time here with our heads down traveling in circles waiting for some day in the future when we leave it all behind?
Did the God who designed gravity. Photosynthesis. The moon. The sun. The stars. You. Me. Our ancestors. Every nook and cranny of this universe. The God who brought order to the chaos that was this place. Making light to blast out darkness. And who then made us, human beings, in His own image. Just to live out our lives in the middle of some road that doesn’t actually go anywhere?
Spinning our wheels trying to look like we have it more together than we do? Trying to pass off some so so version of righteous enough, or holy enough? Forgetting that we never will be, but so focused on it that we never stop to look up long enough to notice the loop and turn to ask God himself if this is what it is all about?
I was in the check out line at a grocery store in Boston recently when a kind elderly man, who I suspect hails from Southie, labeled me, “from The South.”
“Im from here!” I replied in haste. Raising my arms as if I was trying to stop a train. Anxious to reaffirm my New Englander status and all those years of shoveling snow and riding with the MBTA. I was a Bostonian. That concrete below us was my old stomping ground and I could not allow that to be challenged by this gruff, albeit charming, old man.
But as I stepped outside, I realized that I have really started to annunciate my “r’s”. And developed my own strange version of a southern twang, at least by Southie standards. I use ‘wicked’ less and don’t rely as heavily on sarcasm. And I love my new home.
So maybe I’m somewhere in-between them both. Neither here nor there completely. A little Boston and a little southern too.
The following day Ruth and I stood in the security line at the airport and I studied the people there. Because Im creepy like that.
I noticed the young women. Looking like they were in a rush, when really they probably weren’t. I recognized some of myself in them too. Remembering those days when I thought juggling at the airport involved Star Magazine and four snacks of my own. Wondering if I had time to down a margarita before boarding.
I remember being 26. And I can still feel 26 inside of me. But Im 36 now. And things are different here.
Now I have a bag full of barbies and crayons. And Im toting around books on the Enneagram. And Im juggling a five-year-old who is low on sleep and high on Dunkin Donuts. A different kind of explosive than the ones they screen for in the TSA line.
Still I love traveling with her. Though she toes the line between joy and despair with each step towards the gate. But just like I am somewhere in between two states I call home. And somewhere between two decades of my life. She and I are somewhere in-between together too. And the in-betweens are where life is lived. Our moments are what happens as we are moving from each place to the other. And they demand our presence, not our haste.
What feeds your soul and keeps you running?
Here are a few of my answers…
God & His Word
this little farm with its garden and animals
church and community
there are hints of all of these here on the site and in the work that I do. I would love to know your answers!
send me a note here…
I post a lot of our moments in-between on Instagram. You can follow along with us there!